Another change.

I have had so much on my mind these past couple of months that every time I sit down to blog I feel overwhelmed.  We've had a lot of big changes in our lives the past few months and just when I think we're adjusted it seems that the Lord has something else in mind. 

Every year in March is the kids' school registration for the following year.  It always brings about some stress when you look at the finances and wonder how we're going to continue our kids at their private school.  It is very expensive but we've taken it year by year and the Lord has provided for us each time.  Since Dana had left his full-time ministry position he would no longer qualify for the pastor discount our school gives.  We do receive financial aid but since he's making a little more we figured we probably wouldn't get any aid or very little.  After agonizing over the increase in monthly payment we started to explore other options. 

First, my sister was talking about homeschooling.  Suprisingly to me, Dana was very open to that idea.  I was the one who really wasn't.  I had no desire to homeschool my kids.  I love my children dearly but really didn't think that I was the "teacher" type and also worried about all details of taking my kids out of a traditional school setting.  For us, the public school my kids would have to attend is not an option.  We talked about trying to keep them at their school for one more year and then maybe we would move by then.  We talked about sending them to public school.  Then we talked about homeschooling.  But to be honest, it just wasn't something I wanted to do. 

I was open to looking at the options though and started to pray for wisdom.  I did a lot of research looking online and reading some books.  I even went to a class at a homeschool convention.  It seemed that was the direction we were going but I couldn't commit to it for some reason.  I was scared, nervous, anxious and all those feelings I am supposed to give to God.  This week though, I have felt more at peace.  I was reading a book that had a lot of wisdom in it and I really felt that God was telling me that I can do this.  We are basically committing to one year of homeschool and then we'll evaluate our circumstances and see where the Lord leads. 

So, even though I am still scared out of my mind and questionning everything, I am also starting to feel a little excited about the possibilities.  I was talking to Dane on the phone today and he asked me if I was starting to get excited about it (I guess he could hear it in my voice).  I am still a little afraid to admit it but I guess that I am.  I am looking forward to the new challenges, the precious time with my kids and also the financial burden that will lift.  We have been struggling for so long and I really think the Lord has given us a new chance to get things back to where they should be.  It's going to be awesome to be able to provide better for our kids and do some things like going to Disneyland, etc. that we haven't been able to do because of our school payment.  I guess what I am really saying is that I am so thankful that God is so patient with me and allows me to work through these difficult decisions.  He knows me and my heart and what's best for our family and I'm excited to see what He's going to do with our family this next year.

Comments

[Sam]

Yay - you committed!! :) I love this post Jen. God knows your heart and I know it's scary, but if he's leading your family this way - he will provide! It's overwhelming, but very exciting. I can't wait! :)

[jen]

wow jen! i applaud you for taking this step even though it's scary and you aren't really sure what will happen. it's a big commitment but you can do it!

[Cynthia]

Wow, Jen that is exciting! I am just planning out our stuff for next year and even that much is exciting. The Lord definitely led us to homeschool too and lately the reason's have become obvious to us. You're going to love the flexibility that it gives, you can take vacations in the off season and Friday's off whenever, extra time at Christmas, etc. It's very nice. Talk to you soon.

[HannahNoel]

I am really amazed at you (and your sisters) in deciding to homeschool. It sounds like a great opportunity for all of you. I am excited to see how it all works out!

[Christi Kitt]

OMG! What a huge decision...awesome! I can't wait to hear more about it!!

[Kelly]

I'm going to be watching you (and your sisters) very closely! I still don't feel like we have been given clear direction in homeschooling. Well either way really. It's still very much up in the air for us. It can't be that way for long since our summer is short but we're still praying.
I'm looking forward to seeing what the Lord does with your family through this! If you have time to blog that is! :)

[Becky]

Wow this is a big change. I commend you, I could never do this. You will have to keep us updated on how it is going.